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Is Council planning an oxymoron?

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February 3, 2026

Gordon T wonders if he can plant rice in his now waterlogged garden.

Can rice grow in this?

BY GORDON T

I was worried about the effects of the weather the other day as I rose from bed and slipped my crocs on. Hurriedly I sloshed my way into the bathroom and then, with teeth fresh and polished, made my way upstairs to enjoy the first cup of tea of the day on the deck.

It was the day for the gardener to come for his weekly visit but due to the waterlogged appearance of the property, I wasn’t expecting him to show up. I was surprised therefore, to hear splashing sounds from the direction of the garden, before I had even finished the code cracker.

Looking down from the deck, I spotted the gardener poking some plants into the water sodden vegetable garden. I had to ask him what he was doing. He looked up at me like I was something strange and then replied, “I am planting rice. May as well make use of the damp conditions and grow something that flourishes in the water.” I shook my head, the man’s innovative thinking often confused me, and replied “But my wife doesn’t like rice so that’s no good. Could you plant some noodles instead?” It was the gardener’s turn to look confused so he stopped what he was doing and came inside to discuss the matter.

I offered the gardener a green tea but he indicated a green Steinlager would be better. Once I had got a couple of bottles out of the fridge, we settled on the deck and discussed the water situation and a relevant planting programme. We had agreed that our real problem was fluctuating home water levels caused by the Council’s apparent lack of ability to provide a suitable storm water system. “After all” the gardener said, “the storm water system failed three years ago and nothing has been done to fix it since, so it’s not surprising that it failed again.” I nodded in agreement and pointed out, “Our Water Services Manager seems to be in denial if the article in The Informer the other week is correct”. “Maybe some prevention planning training is needed,” replied the gardener.

Long- term plans over a beer

The discussion moved onto planning and we brought out a copy of the TCDC Long Term Plan to see how relevant it was or whether it was going to help the town. Reading down the list of works projects on the plan, there was nothing set down for Whitianga storm water, Whangamata being the only town scheduled for any such improvements. Whitianga was to have two projects; a refuse station and an Esplanade waterfront redevelopment. “Well, the tip is fair enough” said the gardener, “but the waterfront redevelopment just means another wharf that we don’t need and nobody remembers who asked for it.” I nodded. “The Council has already built a wharf in Kopu that nobody uses, perhaps they could tow it over here if it is really needed. No point in building two when one will do.”

We paused for a sip, then the gardener remarked “Towing the Kopu wharf is not practical but perhaps they could sell it or make some money out of it in other ways. They need to think beyond the square”.

I came up with a good idea; “Why not lease it to the team that created the Buffalo Beach Club. They are an innovative bunch and could possibly turn it into a bar, after all they don’t seem to need walls or other unnecessary things like a roof, so setup costs shouldn’t be too much”. The Gardner smiled at the thought then announced “They could call it the KFC! The Kopu Fishing Club!”

We both had a chuckle before once again considering the plan. There was no works planned for protection of Whitianga’s Buffalo Beach but over $78 million to Thames coastal protection. The Gardner shook his head “Don’t they realise that when the mud disappears, it is called high tide, not global warming! Surely, they don’t need $78 million to protect them from tidal changes on a mud flat. Thames is a bit flat though in some parts and it is the beginning of the Coromandel.” I shook my head “It seems odd that 100% of the planned coastal protection monies is to be spent on an area that only contributes 19% of the total rates income. Doesn’t appear balanced. If this was fair, $27 million would go to Mercury Bay. That would go a long way towards protecting Buffalo Beach and fixing our storm water.”

We clinked glasses with a resounding “Cheers” and then sat back to contemplate our good planning efforts. “The odd thing” I remarked “was that the Council’s long term plan’s second key decision was to invest in future planning and their long term plan proved that they needed to do this”. The Gardener nodded before adding “Yeah, about as effective as planting noodles.”