Father’s Day falls on the first Sunday of September in New Zealand. So it is this coming Sunday. Sunday and it’s worth taking a moment to talk about the strange, wonderful, contradictory creatures we call dads.
He’s often the first man you ever meet, and he often becomes the, “How does this actually work” person in your life – from teaching you to ride your first bike to helping you buy your first car.
Good fathers are underrated infrastructure – the invisible beams holding the house up. Research consistently shows that kids with an engaged father figure tend to have better emotional regulation, higher academic achievement, fewer behavioural problems, and stronger social skills.
Dads parent differently from mums – they encourage risk-taking, tolerance, and problem-solving. They play rougher, and they let you climb the tree so you can learn from your own mistakes. They’re also the ones who let their little girls paint his nails, put beads in his beard, and cheerfully wear a handmade pink bracelet to work. He’ll happily be the “man fairy” at his daughter’s fifth birthday party. For the boys, he helps solve problems, fixes things, and shows up dressed as Batman at parent-teacher evenings. A good dad lets his kids win every third board game – teaching them both the joy of winning and the humility of losing.
The Kiwi dad can fix a fence, back a trailer, mend a broken heart, and cook a proper roast for Sunday lunch – often all in the same weekend. He’s on the sideline every Saturday, cheering, coaching, and dressed head to toe in team colours.
And yes, we all know he’s secretly a genius who can answer every question on quiz night. He wields the barbecue tongs with perfection, hogs the TV remote without apology, refuses to read the instructions when assembling furniture, disappears into his man cave when he doesn’t want to engage, and tells those awful puns and dad jokes that make you groan and roll your eyes.
You’ll also remember the summer road trips – getting hopelessly lost because he wouldn’t stop to ask for directions, while insisting with total authority that he knew a shorter, more scenic route, despite never having driven it before. You developed excellent bladder control on those trips, because he never stopped for a wee break, and he was remarkably understanding when you threw up the Fanta you’d had for lunch as you were coming over the Kopu-Hikuai road.
Don’t bother buying him new clothes this Father’s Day – the three shirts and two pairs of pants he owns are over ten years old, but there’s still “plenty of wear left in them.” Socks and jocks? Same story – five pairs of each, years old, still going strong. Tools? He’s already got three of everything. But electronic gadgets? Now you’re talking. The newest, latest, whizz-bang gadget on the shelf will always make him happy.
Underneath the bad jokes and questionable navigation, he has been a steady influence throughout your life – comedian, authority, and advisor. Dad’s love language is shown through actions, never words. He helped you build confidence and resilience. He was tougher than Mum and wouldn’t let you get away with toddler or teenage tantrums, telling you to pull your socks up when you were being less than you could be.
He taught you respect for yourself and others. He built the tree hut. Fixed your bike. Gave you budgeting advice. Taught you how to tie your shoelaces and how to drive. And he walked you up the aisle on your wedding day.
He was there when you needed him to be. Happy Father’s Day to all the dads and granddads out there – who are trying to be good dads – it’s really appreciated.
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