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Local Groups & Clubs

Has someone said “Sorry for your loss”

Have you been the recipient of these words? Have you lost someone you loved?
 |  Michelle Farmer  | 

Loss comes in many forms. It may be caused by physical separation or divorce. It may be caused by death whether accidental, age-related, disease or suicide. You may be feeling the loss of a friend, a family member, a spouse or partner, a child, a colleague.

Loss does not discriminate by age, race, gender, religion, or socio-economic status. Loss can be recent or not. A dear friend shared with me just the other day that she was grieving for a loss she experienced 52 years ago. Time may lighten the load, or it may not; but the feelings and memory of loss never go away. Grief is an endurance event.

Loss is often unpredictable, irreversible, unpreventable, and sometimes unforeseeable. No matter what the cause of your loss and no matter who you are grieving for, your feelings of loss are valid and cannot be understood nor measured by anyone but yourself. It is impossible for people who have never truly lost to understand what it is like for those who have. And of course, everyone’s feelings and coping mechanisms are different. There is no one-size-fits-all, and there never will be.

We are initiating a get-together for people who have experienced loss. We are not a self-help group, a hug and cry group, a dating site for the bereaved, an answer and solution to your grief. In-fact, we do not know what we are yet. But maybe, just maybe, by gathering with similarly hurt people you can find solace in knowing that they have some kind of understanding.

We will be holding an informal coffee morning between 10am and 11.30 am, Wednesday, 10 April (for many readers that’s tomorrow). You will find us inside, in the far left-hand corner at Espy’s Café on the esplanade, Whitianga. We welcome anyone who would like to come along. You can talk about your loss or not, you can cry or not; you can be upset or incredibly ‘normal’ and joyous. There will be no questions. Come for a laugh, come for a cry, come to meet some new people who also, at some time in their life, have suffered loss. Each person’s intensities of emotions and causes for that grief will be individual. And where those feelings fit on the day we meet, will vary enormously. The only thing we will have in common is the camaraderie of knowing we have each experienced loss and grief as well as the pain associated with rebuilding our world without our person.

There will be other times scheduled to meet – this is our first.