I read a quote recently by a famous Jewish scholar, Abraham Joshua Heschel. He said, “When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.” I found this so insightful and relatable. It got me thinking about all the kindness all around us. It’s so hard to see sometimes because we get caught up in the negative that gets talked about so much more through the media.
Kindness can be big or small. A smile to someone who looks despondent can lift in ways we may never know. A hug can brighten a person’s day. I wonder what this world would be like if everyone woke up each day with one idea in mind: how can I show kindness today?
I remember years ago when I was living in California, I went out to dinner with my husband, and I saw a young mother and her son out to dinner. The boy would have been around eleven and he was dressed up and you could tell they were celebrating something, could have been his birthday or some accomplishment perhaps that he had. I was touched. The love between them seemed so strong. I felt a strong urge to buy them their dinner. I walked up to the cash register and took care of it and never mentioned a thing to them. I wanted it to be an anonymous surprise. We left as they were being served dinner.
The joy I got from that experience was so fulfilling. Sometimes we are just moved to do things out of the blue and it taught me that I don’t really need to wait for a sign to do some good thing for someone else, I could make it a proactive perspective in my life.
Years before this incident, someone had done the same for me, and I felt it was not just a good thing to do but a necessary thing to pass along the good. If we can do that more frequently, we can keep the love and kindness moving through our world, like a spiritual currency.
I remember an incident in New York several years ago when I was there for a work trip. There was an old lady at a crosswalk with a cane. I was stuck in traffic at a stop light a couple blocks away from her. By the time our taxi approached the crosswalk, I saw she was still there. The lights at the crosswalk only gave pedestrians about 20 seconds to cross and she clearly was fretting thinking she wouldn’t make it across in time. When the pedestrian light turned on the walking sign again, the woman was approached by a young man. He started walking her across. They had only made it halfway across when the crosswalk light started blinking red. That’s when my taxi driver got out of the car, just as the light turned green for the traffic to move. He put his hazard lights on and stepped in front of the traffic coming both ways directing the cars to wait. It was just touching. That taxi driver received a very large tip from me that day.
It was a great lesson. Why didn’t I think of that? Why didn’t I have the initiative? I was so touched by the action and yet at the same time, I felt a sense of shame for not thinking of it myself. As I reflected on it, I turned the incident into a learning. The shame went away and I realized these things happen for us to wake up to the kindness we have inside of us that are there to be shared.
I have never forgotten that moment and I now share it with you all in hopes that you might also wake up to opportunities of kindness.
I think of it as taking what could be a nightmare of a day and turning it into a happy dream. The more anxious or caught up in my world I got, the more I would reflect on this incident and look for a chance to show kindness. It always changed my day for the better. Now, after years of practice, it’s become part of my being. But I still need to remind myself of it on a daily basis.
Spreading kindness in our communities can change our communities. The love extends to more and more people this way. I am hopeful that even if only one person reads this column and decides to impart more kindness, that one gesture will lift all of us up. So today, I will not just look for opportunities to be kind, I will just be kind.
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